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PERSONAL WEBSITE |
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GHAZANFAR NAUMAN’S |
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1. Truth
I have learned that no body can live an unsuccessful or tense life if he/ she continues to embrace truth in his/ her life. I think, one should always pray for the strength to speak, listen, act, accept, and be informed of truth. Always ask Allah for guidance and true path, which He should tell. However, being true, living a true life and walking on the right path is not what will give a happy and successful life, because living such a life without the ability to understand, know and identify the lies and evils of this world and people in our environment is not possible, in my opinion. Hazrat Umar bin Khattab (Umar Farooq) once denied to take in a very famously humble, true and nice person in his government only on the basis that the person could not identify evils and lies. Note that Hazrat Umar, in our caliphs, ruled very well and for the longest period because he was Umar FAROOQ (he was able to distinguish good and evil). |
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Lessons fROM life |
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2. Marriage
Someone said: “You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable OR Get married and wish you were dead!”… My experience is that the statement is true ;-). In Pakistani culture and society, I think, one should check parents of the person to whom you are getting married… it depends on them whether your after-marriage life will be better or worse. Normally it depends on a girl’s parents and sisters and on boy’s parents. From case studies, it is evident that parent-level-fights, separations and divorces are due to unwanted indulgences and involvement of girl’s parents and sisters in married life of their daughter or sister, as the case may be. May be because they become more sensitive and do not want her to be independent OR may be they want to make her life more miserable and painful! - God knows better. Khalil Gibran said “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.” “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).” — Quran (4:34) Muhammad (SAW) is attributed to say in the Farewell Sermon: “O people! Accept the advice regarding good treatment of women and (accept it) because they are duty bound (to fulfill your marital rights)... Indeed you have rights over women and they also have rights over you. You have the right that they do not permit into your homes nor sleep with anyone else. Listen! their right upon you is that you feed and clothe them in the best way (you are able to).” — Sunan Ibn Maja (1841) I would say, to have a good relationship, don't ever try to convince your wife that you love her. Beauty is within your own eyes not with anyone else’s. Kill your ego, as someone said, “A spiritual warrior is he who breaks an idol; and the idol of each person is his ego.”, try to be forgiving, identify evil, and makeup things intelligently—its very tough though. “Intelligence is the shadow of objective truth. How can the shadow vie with sunshine?” Remember, whoever gives advice to a heedless person is himself in need of advice. Another thing, the problem may not be with the other one as we always think, it could be very much within us! So be careful. The key to a successful marriage is: A couple should never share their feelings with anyone in case of fights/ private disagreements, even though the fight goes to divorce. Such a behavior from spouses is not liked in Islam too. It is said that such kind of behavior is a seed to tumult and oppression, and I have experienced it personally. You should be very careful and most importantly the others (commonly, parents, brothers and sisters) with whom one shares her/ his feelings should play wisely and show greatness. |
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3. Consistency and positive attitude bring happiness
Consistent hard work and positive attitude towards life is a key for a happy life. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. “Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.” ~ Roy Goodman Dear Lord! Teach me to laugh again but never let me forget that I cried…
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4. Love
In my opinion, its all man-made, unnatural and unreal. We all need one another. However when someone you need is because of pleasure, security, and many other explainable or unexplainable reasons you name your feelings of desire as love. :-) True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. It is unconditional in every respect—a person in true love never wants the loved one to be apart… that’s the real mistake… love is free and one cannot possess, control or hold it tightly. Someone said it rightly, love is like water in your palm, whenever you try to close your hands to hold it forever, you’ll definitely loose every drop of it. Some of my favourite quotes in this respect are: “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” Anonymous “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” ~ Robert Frost “You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” ~ Sam Keen “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.” ~ Blaise Pascal (Pensees) “It is impossible to love and be wise.” ~ Francis Bacon “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” ~ Jules Renard “There are two tragedies in life: One is to lose your heart's desire, and The other is to gain it.” ~ G.B. Shaw From Bible and Quran, I learned: True love is peaceful, gentle and kind. It is humble honest and truthful. True love is a giver, not selfish, it is enduring and requires fidelity, it pushes away jealousy or envy and is encouraging. It requires patience. It is not what the world wants you to believe. True love with physical relationship between the married couple is a wonderful gift from God. However it would be heartache to prioritizing or basing marriages on physical relationship only. True love rests deep inside within the heart, never on the outside! It is not true love to “rescue” someone from their own decisions. It cannot be measured money-wise. It is not found in unhealthy self-esteem. It is not abusive either physically or verbally. |
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5. God
In my view, for every person there is one God, so logically, there are as many gods as there are His believers. Theoretically, each person’s God is different from the others’. Precisely, He is nature, which differs from person to person. My fovourite quotes regarding God are: “He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.” ~ Aristotle (Politics) “Therefore something than which greater cannot be thought undoubtedly exists both in thought and in reality... And you, Lord God, are this being.” ~ Saint Anselm (Proslogion) “They that deny a God destroy man's nobility; for certainly man is of kin to the beasts by his body; and, if he be not of kin to God by his spirit, he is a base and ignoble creature.” ~ Francis Bacon (Of Atheism) “If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.” ~ Thomas Szasz (The Second Sin) “The idea of God is the sole wrong for which I cannot forgive mankind.” ~ Marquis de Sade (Aline et Valcour) “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.” ~ Francois Voltaire (Letters) “With God, what is terrible is that one never knows whether it's not just a trick of the devil.” ~ Jean Anouilh (1910-1987, French Playwright) “When I want to talk to God, I pray (salat); and when I want God to talk to me, I study Quran” ~ Hazrat Ali (RA) “Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?” ~ Neitzsche The one essential condition of human existence is that man should always be able to bow down before something infinitely great. If men are deprived of the infinitely great, they will not go on living and will die of despair. Believe in something greater than your own self; perhaps the best is God not another man!!!. ~ Richard Nixon (In the Arena) |
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6. Greatness—It comes only after Defeat, Sadness and Disappointments
“We think sometimes when things don’t go the right way, when we suffer a defeat, that all has ended. Not true. It is only a beginning, always. Greatness comes not when things always go good for you, but the greatness comes when you are really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.” “Always give your best never get discouraged, never be petty. Always remember others may hate you but those that hate you don’t win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself.” ~ Richard Nixon in his speech to staff at White House on 09-08-1974 (Book: In the Arena) In my opinion, defeat is very important in life, without it one cannot know of himself and get intelligent. Only by undergoing the experience of defeat, sadness and disappointments for a greater cause one can learn to live an elegant and graceful life—and most importantly find himself. And as someone said - to find God, find yourself. |
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On this page you will find my experiences and opinions about the life that I have lived through. The words that I chose to describe those feelings are however not completely mine. But if you still disagree, please excuse me as everyone has its own view of life but I am encouraged to share it still! The truth is: I hate studying books or even give a look to any reference material or anything even while studying for my career. However, as a Muslim I read Quran and some parts of Bible and have also researched Shariah on the internet and had many discussions with my colleagues, friends, etc on different philosophical and other topics. I thought it might be useful to share them with you, so here it goes. |
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7. Coping with the wilderness syndrome
Wilderness syndrome is experienced by anyone who suffers a major defeat in life. If a person quits after a defeat, he dies spiritually and will soon die physically. After a defeat, a person needs to recover first physically and spiritually and then financially. To recover physically involves regaining the ability to get up early in the morning; to recover spiritually requires restoring the will and desire to do so. Spiritual recovery is not possible without the help of others (family and/or friends). Bear in mind three principles: 1. Put the past behind you. Do not become obsessed with what has been lost. Analyze and understand the reasons for your defeat. And most importantly think instead about what is left to do. As John Powell said, “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” 2. Do not let your critics get to you. Remember that your enemies can only win if they divert your attention into fighting them or hating them. They will not drive you towards your goals. 3. Devote your time to a goal larger than yourself. Avoid the temptation of living simply for pleasure or striving only to leave a larger estate. The key is to live for something more important than your life. As Einstein said, “Only a life lived for others is worth living.” ~ Taken from Richard Nixon (Book: In the Arena) For renewal and revival, I have some inspirational and motivating collection of quotes: “A person in grief can sit in a corner waiting for time to take care of bitter sorrow; time won't do anything. It is what we do with time that can heal.” ~ Father Arnaldo Pangrazzi “I am hurt, but I am not slain! I will lay me down and bleed awhile; then I'll rise and fight again.” ~ from St. Barton's Ode “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” ~ Winston Churchill “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: which is: Try to please everybody.” ~ Herbert B. Swope “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.” ~ George Washington Carver |
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8. How to win, loose and come back
How to win? You don’t win by playing as well as you think you can. You win by playing better than you think you can. How to loose? We must always play to win but accept that sometimes we loose. When we loose, we should get mad – not at the other team but at ourselves for not playing better. Don’t say, “It is not whether you win or loose, but how you play the game”. Don’t find lame excuses. How to come back? We must never accept defeat. No matter how many times you get knocked down, get up, and don’t let it happen again. When you seek praise for its own sake, you are playing to the wrong audience. Play well not to satisfy others and get praised but to satisfy your own selves. ~ Taken from Richard Nixon (Book: In the Arena) For everything you have missed you gained something else and for everything you gain, you loose something else. - It is about your outlook towards life. You can either regret or rejoice. ~ Anonymous |
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9. Struggle
Life is not cooking and computer games and Club Med. Life is a process of recognizing and trying to overcome challenges, of sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing. Nothing of any value, in business, in culture, in politics, in sports, or in any other field, was created without struggle. Struggle is what makes us human instead of animals. Einstein observed, “Well being and happiness never appeared to me as absolute aims. I am even inclined to compare such moral aims to the ambitions of a pig.” Struggle is a fact of life, but not necessarily an unpleasant fact. We can get more fulfillments from struggling for a good cause beyond ourselves than living a life of strictly fun for ourselves. Struggle is not fun but it is better than fun. Those who welcome and enjoy it will get something out of life far more rewarding than those who do not. In rethinking our educational priorities, we must not forget is simple truth. Without the fires of challenge and competition, children will grow up un-tempered by struggle and soft in character, and later in life they will be ill-equipped to deal with its inevitable and often frightening trials. ~ Taken from Richard Nixon (Book: In the Arena) Over the same sea, on the same winds; A ship sails in one direction, and other in opposite; It is not the wind that decides which direction the ship goes; It’s the sails, how they are tied and how they are maneuvered; Similarly it is not faith that decided where your life is going; It is all about how you take life and where you take it to. ~ Anonymous What we are now is the result of our own past actions… so, decide how you have to act now to make your future… We have the power to make ourselves... We are responsible for what we are, whatever we wish ourselves to be - so choose wisely. |
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Headings: 1. Truth 3. Consistency and positive attitude brings happiness 5. God 7. Coping with the wilderness syndrome 9. Struggle
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2. Marriage 4. Love 6. Greatness—It comes only after Defeat, Sadness and 8. How to win, loose and come back 10. Wealth and material progress |
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10. Wealth and material progress
Wealth can make life easier but not necessarily better. When the material goods of life are harder to get you appreciate them more when you have them. We appreciate education for the same reason. We should know that wealth is important but we should never consider it to be the only thing. Materialists seek it as an end in itself. For us, it should be only the beginning of a good life, not the end. Wealth and material progress should be sought as a means to an end – a richer and more meaningful life in ways that cannot be measured by money, what Admond Burke called “the unbought grace of life.” ~ Taken from Richard Nixon (Book: In the Arena) |